Many things get under my skin but one of the most insidious is the feeling I get when an adult seems to relate to all-things-child more than they relate to other adults (who aren’t kid-centric).  This whole trend (and it IS a trend) seems to be mostly my generation, probably getting revenge on what they see as a lost childhood due to latchkey lives and the great grown up love-fest that was the sixties and seventies.

Words have a lot of power in all of our lives.  What words we choose to use says a lot about how we’re feeling at the moment, what our social background is (or what we wish it was), and what kind of people we are.  Our use of words is personal, except when it isn’t.  I have often wondered how many people realize how they sound to others just based on the words they use?  I also wonder if people understand how their use of language may prevent opportunities from coming their way or prevent others from giving them the attention in life that they deserve.

Being an avid blog reader I couldn’t fail to notice the incredible trend for writing “mommy blogs”.   There are thousands of mothers writing blogs about their day to day experiences raising children and the majority of them call themselves “mommy bloggers”.

Mommy is an infantile word.  It’s what children often call their mothers.  It’s something they stop saying when they mature because to continue to call your mom “mommy” is baby talk.  I know adults who still call their moms “mommy” and it really creeps me out.  It says that a person hasn’t developed a more mature relationship with their parent, that they have never really grown up.

For a blogger who is only blogging for fun and to meet like-minded people, who cares?  You can refer to yourself as “mommy” all day long and you’ll be in good company.

The problem I see is that a lot of the  “mommy bloggers” consider themselves writers, they express a desire to make money from their blogs, and hope to write books eventually.  If you want to be taken seriously as an expert in parenting or as a writer with something interesting to say to a broader spectrum of people, you are going to have to drop the toddler talk.

First of all, you should refer to yourself as a parenting blogger.  This signals that you are into children, you’re raising them, but you aren’t wishing you were one of them.

Then you should clean out all the words your toddler says or that you say to your toddler when you’re speaking or writing to non-toddlers.

Here’s a good list of infantile words to consider replacing in your writing:

mommy (why not refer to one’s self as “mom”, or “mother”, or “a parent”)

yeppers (makes me think of the loud chirping bark of a chihuahua)

yuppers (because “yeppers” wasn’t enough)

oogly (I’ve seen it appear on an embarrassing number of times on parenting blogs)

lil (this one is also a southern affectation I find creepy)

yummers (this is fine for talking to your three year old, but other adults?  No!)

nom nom (you must check out this link: 10 truly awful words because he took the words right out of my mouth!)

nummy (“nummy for my tummy” comes to mind,  I never even talked to my toddler like that!)

yummy (a word many people use and I even caught myself saying it out loud the other day- totally insidious!  Fine for kids but adults can do better, myself included.)

tummy (okay for use with kids, but stomach is better when talking to adults.

golly (stupid word people think they’re using “ironically” in place of swear words.  It’s just stupid.  Even when The Beave said it.)

giggle (This is a hideous word when adults use it.  When adults say they “giggled” it makes me sick to my stomach.  The word is for children only- no-  not even for kids.)

om nom nom (worse and worse!  Will the food eating noises never stop?  Want to actually hear me chew my food?  NOT YUMMY.)

googly (Sometimes paired with “oogly”.)

scrummy (supposed to be yet another variation on “yummy”)

poop (I may be a mother but I’ll be damned if I need to hear “poop” talk anywhere)

poopy (it’s surprising how many women use this word in their parenting blogs)

snarfle (how a Snuffleupagus eats, the muppet comparison in the 10 truly awful words list is irresistible)

fluffers (like rainbows and clouds and fat men scarfing down cotton candy)

snoogly (I just made that one up because that’s the way these awful words are created)

I think that makes the point adequately.

Here’s the truly disturbing thing: I’ve seen many of these words used on food blogs where the writer is really working hard to be taken seriously.  How can I take any cook seriously who calls a dish “scrummy”?  Aside from it’s resemblance to the word “crummy”, it also sounds like a silly childish version of “scrumptious” which also happens to be a horrible word used mostly to describe the fat cheeks of babies.

I realize that many people use these words to revisit a time of “innocence” along with their children, to enjoy the fleeting wonderful journey of parenting, and that it is meant to reflect their connection to youth and joy in all things sweet and unthreatening.  If that’s really who you are and that truly reflects where you’re at and you use those words intentionally – then who cares?  Use them!

But if you want to be taken seriously in a professional capacity of any kind, these words are not going to earn you any respect.  They are not the words of an adult.  They aren’t going to convince me you’re the expert of anything, not even parenting.  If you want to write a book for other adults then you need to talk like one.

Words are powerful and when used intentionally will help you get where you want to go (wherever that is), but used without thought or understanding may be holding you back from things you want to achieve and opportunities you hope will come your way.

I would like everyone to think more about their use of words and what they say about you.   We have a rich language at our disposal, it’s a shame to let so much of it go to waste on un-words like “om nom nom”.

Update: Another article on this subject has been written on one of my favorite food writing blogs Will Write For Food by Dianne Jacob, The Worst Food Writing Words

So, if you didn’t listen to Rich at Them Apples, and you didn’t listen to me, then surely you will listen to a writer/editor who’s worked in both print and online with food writing and writers for years?  She has links to another article about the same subject and I’m going to put it right here for you:  Top 10 Foodie Words We Hate, by the LA Times The only reason I didn’t do a post specifically about food words I hate is because everyone keeps doing it for me.  So if you’re not a serious writer, who cares what any of us have to say?!  But if you’re a serious writer, especially a food writer, then you should be taking notes and pulling out your dictionary and thesaurus to find better words than

An extra thought: If I want to write a character for a story who is a woman completely wrapped up in her children to the point where she herself is childish, little girly, and unsophisticated, as well as immature- I would use many of those words in the above list in her dialog because it would signal to readers exactly that kind of character.  We all sound like characters to someone else.  What character are you?