What to Wear While Making Bread

What to Wear While Making Bread


The single biggest mistake people make while baking bread is to offend the yeast by wearing sweats or other ratty clothes signifying a level of disrespect not worthy of bread. It is vital that you dress as though you give a shit and this means:
Wear underwear
Long black skirts – the more like something your Grandma wore as a girl in the old country the better.
Colorful cheerful (but not insipid) top.
Chandelier earrings because baking bread is better than going to the prom.
Headscarf – because your hair should never touch your dough and you should look charming holding it back.
Make up – even if it’s just a little lip gloss and cheek pinching – look like you’re about to meet up with a lover who doesn’t wear white tube socks.
Lastly, and most importantly, you must serenade the yeast for best results. Ideally you will play songs on an accordion while the yeast is proofing. If you don’t have your own accordion or your skill with music is abysmal – play old songs on your 78 record player until your bread is in the oven.


  1. Ann says:

    I love the thought of bread serenades with the accordion. One of my favorite instruments. What delicious bread that would be.

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