This Evil Bitch Commie Is Full Of Ideas

my street at night

This past couple of weeks have been pretty intense. What with High School starting for Max (and he’s begun growing a shadow mustache!) and the events in Ferguson Missouri and us suddenly having higher rent to pay that is not affordable requiring me to concentrate hard on how to revamp my Etsy shop and make extra income and finding out my mom probably needs another surgery and my step mother* commenting on my blog (deleted), and of course the middle east situation continuing, and people everywhere being complete and utter assholes to each other.

I have a lot of thoughts about the situation in Ferguson. I’ve heard some really disgusting racist things being spewed and people showing just how sick inside they really are.

I was called an evil bitch commie because I confronted a man who doesn’t think black people are even human beings. I know, if someone is saying something like that they are already so far down the crazy-shoot there’s no retrieving their reason, I shouldn’t have commented. But it’s really hard to stand by and say nothing when people say such awful things.

The trick is to speak up in situations where it will actually help someone out or be useful in some way and to avoid engaging with people who are already diseased in their body and soul.

I’m going to say right now that I think if you are a police officer you are never in the right shooting an unarmed person of any race. I don’t give a shit if they’re 8 feet tall and charge you. Your job is to deal with dangerous people on a daily basis in the least harmful way possible. It doesn’t matter what a suspect’s character is, what matters is that you, as a police officer, have the tools to diffuse aggression without lethal force. If you are too scared to deal with people bigger than you and more aggressive than you – you without shooting them – you do not belong in a police uniform.

I will also say that police departments are quite possibly failing in their training if officers believe that the merest threat of harm to them warrants firing their gun.

Of those things I am absolutely clear.

I get that if someone open fires on a police officer that the officer may need to fire back to protect themselves and bystanders. But there have been plenty of instances where people fired on cops and the cops did not fire back. Happened in my own city more than once. Instances where an officer with a gun pointed at them apprehended the person pointing the weapon and took them into custody without firing so much as a single shot. That’s good policing.

So this whole Michael Brown killing was bad from the start to finish. If Michael Brown accosted Wilson physically, as is claimed, and then ran away – Wilson did not need to shoot him. He should have run after him and used his skills to take him down and cuff him.  He should have called for back up and run after him. Brown had no weapon. NO WEAPON. And once Brown was running away, Wilson was not in danger anymore. No fatal force needed.

That’s bad training at the very least but what it definitely looks like, confirmed by the entire department’s handling of the situation, is that Wilson didn’t care about the life of Michael Brown and acted in an unconscionable way.  That’s a bad shoot.

I don’t actually believe that Police officers should be allowed to use lethal force when threatened. They are threatened all the time, depending on where they work sometimes they are threatened daily. The nature of their job is dangerous, they go into the force knowing they are taking on a dangerous job and being given weapons and the power to apprehend citizens merely on suspicion means they need to be held to a higher level of integrity than the average person.

I don’t think cops should carry guns. I think they shouldn’t carry any lethal weapons at all. But living in a country in love with lethal weapons I know that that will never happen. It’s too bad.

If I believed in God at all I would have to believe that firearms are the tools of Satan.

Those are just a few random thoughts right now. Not an organized essay on what’s going on in Ferguson. So don’t treat it like one. The situation is unbelievable from beginning to end.

That entire police force needs to go on trial for their suppression of constitutional rights of the citizens protesting and those trying to report on the events. They need to be fired and replaced and trained better to deal with both apprehending unarmed (AND ARMED) suspects and protests.

That police department has behaved shamefully.

No, I don’t think the looting that’s happened is okay. But don’t let the looters  be confused with the peaceful protesters. They are not the same people and if the police force wasn’t 100% concentrating on suppressing the citizen’s right to peaceful protest and shooting them with rubber bullets and gassing them – maybe they could have actually quelled the looting and jailed looters.

It’s been a tense two weeks. Our country is like one big castle of dry rot surrounded  by lit matches. It would take so little to destroy us right now. We spend billions of dollars arming the entire world when we should be de-arming everyone and rebuilding our economy on manufacturing and inventions. We are, in my opinion, the most evil country in the world with the way we have armed both allies and enemies with every way to kill other humans under the sun since the early eighties. We have trained the armies of dictators and then trained their enemies too while they’re not paying attention.

The United States is the single largest firearms pimp of the entire world. We stand for war, killing, aggression, invading, and weaponizing.

I want us to stand for innovation, peace, great education, quality manufactured goods, and civil rights equality for all citizens. That’s a United States I would be proud of. That’s a United States I will stand up for and whose flag I –

Nope. I’ll never be a flag flyer.

The answers to how to fix our economy and country are already there in front of us but few people are brave enough to let go of their old ways of dealing with conflict. Few are brave enough to put down their weapons. Weapons are the most cowardly way to deal with ANY conflict. Cowards shoot. Cowards swing axes. Cowards punch people.

Bravery is confronting adversaries without weapons. Being willing to come together and come up with nonviolent solutions. Bravery is knowing you will be hurt in the fight but refusing to fight back.

The weakest and most cowardly people of all are those that wear masks to hide their identity while harming others. If you belong to the Klu Klux Klan you are the weakest and most cowardly of all human beings. You are even beneath snipers who shoot from hidden vantage points and at some distance. You are the lowest of the low.

Hang on, I might be wrong about that.

Those who hide their hate and poison behind corporate law might not be as low as the KKK but they are more dangerous than little boys wearing silly dunce-cones and calling themselves “knights”.

I’m tired. I’m really tired of all the hate and the shooting and the aggression and the ugly and the wars and the rapes and the trampling of peaceful people.

I am redesigning my Etsy store right now to make it into Cricket’s world. I have my salve listed and soon I’ll be listing lip balms and first aid kits. I’m also working on other things. I hope to create a really fun and cool post apocalyptic themed shop. I need to concentrate on creating to keep my spirits up. To keep my hope going. Redesigning my shop has inspired me to dig back into book 2 of Cricket and Grey. I guess I needed a really long  break and to give myself permission to step away if I need to. To take the pressure off. Making things that Cricket and Julie might make is incredibly enjoyable.

I’m not taking my eye off of what’s happening in Ferguson – my heart is with Michael Brown’s family and community. My heart is with social justice, but my actions need to be rooted in creating and making and writing. Things that generate ideas which are what we need more than weapons in this world. Ideas.

So today I’m working on an apron made from a used men’s shirt and I’m excited. I think I’ll dig into Cricket and Grey for some light editing of the second chapter later on.

Peace. Especially to those people who don’t even know when they’re being assholes. Peace to everyone.



*The Israeli one, not the Scottish one.


  1. Diane says:

    I respectfully disagree with you on this one. My son is a police officer and if you could hear the stories he tells, you might change your mind. We’re talking drug induced idiots throwing punches, wielding knives, aiming guns with no fear (because of the drugs). They single out my son simply because he has on the uniform. Is that okay? You really think he should not be allowed to carry weapons? His job is to protect innocent citizens and lock up criminals. He has been wounded on the job because of a drunk driver while he was on his way to a fatal shooting. What about school shootings? No guns on police officers there either? I don’t like guns either but as long as they are legal, I’m damn glad my police officer son has the right to carry one.

  2. angelina says:

    I want ALL firearms to be illegal. British police do not carry firearms and deal with drug crazed people all the time too. I will only agree that as long as we embrace legal firearms the police will have to have them. I will not agree that lethal force is ever okay when a suspect is unarmed. There are many ways to take down an unarmed person without shooting them. Martial arts, from which most self defense techniques derive has many ways you can overpower a person much larger than yourself. I have done it myself. There are also many instances when stun guns would be an effective non-lethal way to stun a person to immobility.

    In the case of Michael Brown, no matter what happened at the door of that squad car – Wilson didn’t start shooting until Brown was walking away – immediate threat at that point was nil to Wilson. I will never be okay with a cop killing a suspect before trying to pursue and subdue him. Whatever happened, Brown didn’t deserve to be killed for it.

    I hope your son is one of the many cops who fulfill their dangerous job without using unnecessary fatal force. Your son chose a dangerous job and being injured or killed is going to be a constant risk as long as he is a policeman. Even so – obviously I hope he doesn’t get injured on the job again.

  3. Diane says:

    My son is a cop on the late night shift in the absolute worst part of the city. This is the area he requested because he is young (23) and truly thought he could make a difference in the lives of the people who live there. Naïve? yes. But I still have to respect his reason for becoming an officer. And no, he is not some 7′ tall bully. I suspect he will soon tire of the job since every time he locks someone up for beating their wife or child or for peddling heroine to teenage kids, they are out and back on the street the next night.

  4. Diane says:

    My son is a police officer on the night shift in the absolute worst, highest crime rate area in the city. This is the area he requested because he hoped he could make a difference to the residents there. Naïve? yes. But I have to respect him for his choice even if I don’t believe he can make a difference. He was ready to go to law school but decided he wanted to make a difference at the root of the problem. I was not happy about this decision but I respect it. Do I still hope he will go on to law school? YES. And no, he is not some 7′ tall macho bully. He has never pulled his gun after 18 months on the job. He has, however, tackled a few people to the ground. I’m still glad he has a gun in case he is in a situation where there are no other options.

  5. angelina says:

    Not pulling his gun in 18 months in a dangerous neighborhood – he sounds like the kind of cop I can put my trust in. I really believe that the majority of cops are good people doing dangerous work to help make everyone safer. I would not want a world without a police force – we need them. But they can’t be exempt from being accountable for their actions. People enforcing law need to be held to a very high level of accountability. When they aren’t – it increases civilian trust in the forces. Unfortunately there still exists a strong “Good ol’ boy” network in some communities and in some police forces where cops and other people in power are more interested in protecting each other than protecting civilians. I think this is a cancer in our country that erodes an already fragile trust trust between civilians and people in positions of power such as the police force.

    If every police officer was working as hard to make a difference and was so conscientious about the use of his weapon – we might not have situations such as the one happening in Ferguson right now.

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