The Truth is in the Subtext

You know how sometimes you’ve got more than three separate learning curves going on at one time, and how it turns your brain to oatmeal?  I am there, my friends.  I’m working hard to re-format all my recipes on Stitch and Boots so that they are a) easier to read b) printable c) will lure the search engines and d) so I can impress you.  I’ve added a plugin to my Stitch blog that helps me do this but it means I had to register for something that required an image for “branding” and I’ve had to learn how to use the plugin and then, apparently I have to register my blog with Google or something.

The funniest thing ever is that I’m working so hard on Stitch and the traffic has gone down by a significant amount in the last month, I’ve barely worked on Better Than Bullets, posting lots of really emotive late night stuff and my wardrobe fun and my traffic has been going steadily up recently.  What gives?  Better Than Bullets is usually the very slow quiet idiot child with all the ranting and politics and silence inducing revelations.  Who can say?

Simultaneously I’m having to learn how to apply for healthcare through the state.  Things have changed since the last time I looked into getting (at least Max) covered by state programs that reduce your rates and the last time I looked we made way too much money to qualify for any discounts while simultaneously being much too broke to afford paying for private undiscounted insurance.  That was three years ago.  We’ve been without insurance that whole time.  Well, it has become clear that Max is going to need more mental health help and medications there’s no way we can afford without insurance to pay for part of it.  Meds for his issues cost almost as much as a cocaine habit, but without any glamorous plummet into seedy street life and fun hanging out with dealers hoping not to get shot while you wait.  Two friends, independently of each other, told me to check it out again.  There’s one plan that’s just for kids and on our income it isn’t free but discounted (the examples of costs per income bracket look promising – it operates on a sliding scale now) and Philip and I may have a much better chance of getting insurance too.

You wanna know what changed?  Obama did.  Obama raised the poverty level to match actual current cost of living data rather than what it was twenty years ago.  Obama made the children’s health care program a priority.  The adults in Oregon still have to get a lottery number and wait for their number to be picked, apparently, but we couldn’t even qualify to get the number before.  A dear friend of mine got covered, thank god, because she needed hip replacement and is unemployed and was therefore uninsured and you can’t go get work when you can’t walk well or stand for long periods of time.

Thank you, Obama.

-A whole bunch of redacted comments and swearing about Obama haters.-

Slinging paperwork with bureaucrats requires a lot of patience and usually reveals problems and errors in one’s collection of official documents.   It’s a delux can-0-worms.

Meanwhile, I have received more agent rejections.  I want to say I don’t care.  I want to not care.  I’ve now got 4 official rejections, 1 implied rejection, and 4 unanswered queries it’s too early to dismiss as rejected by silence.  So, a new batch should go out.  But that means working on the pitch some more.  Because I’m thinking my pitch still seriously sucks.  Doubt keeps creeping in and I know that soon I’ll need to work on my other novel again because maybe my first one is just too boring and no one will ever publish it?  I know I need to not think like that, but at least you can’t tell me that isn’t often the case.  I am feeling pretty deflated by the whole pitch writing stuff.  I keep saying I’ll get better the more I do it, but honestly?  I think my pitches are getting worse and worse.

I’m tired.  Very very tired.  At least I’m done reading the mediocre book I have been struggling with.  The one with all the icky foreplay and the annoyingly “innocent” 2o year old heroine (with the maturity of a 14 year old).  It is unkind in me but it made me wonder what the hell this author’s pitch was like – this book got an agent and a publishing deal.  I can kvetch all I want and throw my coffee cups at the wall, but obviously she’s a better pitch writer than me, and I know from experience that pitching is the most challenging bit of writing an author has to do.  So kudos to her and her pitching skills.

And thank god I’m free to read a better book now.

If I sound all negative, I’m not.  I mean, it depends what minute you’re talking to me in.  My life continues to feel like a rollercoaster ride.  Well, I’m off to make of the rest of the day what I can.

UPDATE: my friend Skye has explained that it isn’t likely that it is the Obama administration responsible for raising the amount you can earn and still qualify for the healthy kids program, it is more likely that it’s the state’s doing.  She explained it very well but I can’t explain it as well as her so I just thought I’d mention this for anyone interested.  And yes, so sad not to be able to thank Obama for this change.  Seeing as I like him and think he’s way better than any of the scary awful Republican candidates up for consideration right now.  On the other hand, it’s nice to be able to thank my state for something.

3 comments

  1. angelina says:

    Well, the first time I heard about it was maybe two years ago – an insurance broker told us the policy would be changing because of the Obama administration. But it hadn’t happened yet. Then a few months ago my one of my friends who is a social worker here in Oregon told me to be sure to check out the Healthy Kids program because they’d changed the income requirements to qualify so that all kids could have coverage. Then my friend who had the hip replacement just told me not long ago that she had not qualified for OHP before even though she was unemployed but she told me it’s changed and that she was able to qualify and urged me to check it out. So I did. And it has changed. And I have a case worker. I don’t know how long it will take to find out if we can afford the sliding scale rates but hopefully at the very least we can afford to cover Max again.

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