Tag: what to wear to beg the power copmany to not turn off your power

What to Wear to Beg the Power Company to Not Turn Off Your Power

What to Wear to Beg The Power Company Not To Turn Off Your Power

 

It is devastating when the power company comes to turn off your power in the middle of winter just because you’re a “little” behind on payments. It is important to take care how you dress if you plan to plead with them while standing in your driveway. The most important thing is that you need to look cold. This will appeal to the mercy of the shut-off man.

To look cold it is recommended that you still be in your sleepwear. You want to avoid looking slatternly while still being under-dressed for the cold. The general look is one of haste and surprise (because otherwise you’d just look stupid standing around outside in your flip flops when snow has been predicted). Your shivering will make the power guy very uncomfortable. (Suppressing a few sobs is also effective but more difficult to achieve.)

Fingerless gloves are Dickensian and appropriate whenever one wants to look like they can’t afford a whole pair of gloves or to imply that one has worn through the fingers with hard work. Very effective for looking pathetic.

Lastly, it is recommended that your choice of jewelry be fresh and young implying a certain level of innocence which will enhance the shut-off guy’s guilt in turning off your power. He will probably still turn it off, but at least you will have succeeded in ruining his day.