I can’t believe that a country which prides itself on equal rights for all citizens and the right to pray to whatever god you choose or to not pray to any god at all, and that prides itself on being the best and free-est country in the world is still trying to limit the rights of its gay citizens in ridiculous ways, to project racial prejudices on people who appear to be from the middle east, to assume that all Muslims are bent on bringing down all non-Muslims, and I can’t believe that women are still having to fight tooth and nail to retain the right to NOT FUCKING BEAR CHILDREN and to limit the number they do have if they have them and that they are still having to fight to make their own moral decisions about what they do with their own fucking bodies.

Are we living in the dark ages?  This view of our country that most Americans have is proof that most Americans have country-dismorphic-disorder* in which the truth is not recognized underneath a narcissistic masturbation of wishful thinking.

Perhaps it’s time the United States sought the help of a trained psychologist to help us see ourselves as we really are.  The only problem is that we can’t afford to get therapy as a country because we don’t have any public health care.  Fuck this shit.

Meanwhile, I am considering the merits of learning to drive a car.  I don’t really want to.  I don’t think cars are awesome.  I don’t actually want to contribute even more to the constant drain on the oil resources that encourage our country to massacre people in other countries who just happen to be sitting on what we imagine to be an endless supply of oil.  The thing is, I’m trapped in this little town and it occurs to me that the only way to get out of it without moving is to drive my ass down the road to where I fit in.  If I visited Portland more often, and if it wasn’t such a huge deal every time I did, then I might feel less trapped.  If you’re unhappy with something then it’s up to you to change what you can.  I could conceivably learn to drive.

Judging from my suddenly increased heart rate and the little knot that just appeared in my stomach while thinking about this out loud, this might not be a good idea.  I will hold it up as a possibility to be considered with care – but I can’t forget my long time ambition to die never having driven a car.  (One that Philip completely endorses, in case you worried that he felt burdened by my not driving, he doesn’t.)

This country is so messed up with its tendency to moralize based on race, religion, and background, it even indulges in animal breed discrimination.  I think that shows a very deep level of imbalance.  I wasn’t going to keep talking about that but I looked at that sweet picture of my dog up there and was reminded.  Shouldn’t all dogs be judged on their individual merits and behaviors?  To judge them based on fear is the soul of bigotry.

Now that I’ve aired my disgust and anger at my country I would like to also say that small bright spots of hope still exist – little hints that we may actually move forward, that we just might (in spite of ourselves) become the country we see in the mirror:

This week judges ruled Proposition 8 unconstitutional.  While this can still be appealed – at least this is progress.

Washington State passed a bill to allow same sex marriage.  It’s not official yet but it looks very promising.

J.C. Penny didn’t back down from having Ellen Degeneres in their ads when pressured to do so by the idiotic and bigoted group that calls themselves “One Million Moms”.  Ellen’s response to the whole situation is well worth watching.  Meeting bigotry with class and humor is not an easy thing to do and she sets an awesome example for everyone.

Those are all positive things going on out there.  I hope to see more sparks of hope soon.  We need a huge infusion of it in this country.  Time to get our hands our of our pants and actually do something worthy of all our pride.

*I just made that term up.  If a person can look in the mirror and see fat where there are only bones, so can a country see freedoms and progress where there are crosses festooned with women’s uteruses and the hearts of gay couples and the holy prayers of Muslims.