#22 Reason not to drink: to dry Pippa out
Something many people don’t know is that my cat Pippa is a lush and I’m afraid that it’s my fault. If only beer hadn’t been so readily available on my desk and on my side table and in my hands, she never would have gone down this rocky road of chemical dependency. It’s so bad that I can’t open a beer without her showing up to try to lick the bottle. She lurks around until she thinks I won’t see her on my desk obscuring half my computer screen to get at the booze. (Pippa thinks she has powers of invisibility) Tonight I’m not drinking because I need to show Pippa how to be a healthy cat, a cat who isn’t obsessed with beer. It’s already been really hard on her. She cries twice as much now and let’s me know that I’m a brutal bitch by slinking around under my desk nipping at my ankles. Lucky for her, she’s discovered a neighborhood cat support group that meets outside our house at 10pm every evening.* All I can do is reassure her that when she is able to drink responsibly again, the beer will come back.
*True fact.
