Tag: messy head

My Deliverance Approaches

Even the garbage is more colorful in California.

My head is a messy messy place today.  My internet connection is crawling like a swimmer with no limbs through sludge.  This makes doing my work very difficult.  I have repressed 5 screams and the urge to smash all the electronics in the house.  Nothing’s really wrong but I have feelings of panic and dread.  Which come in waves and then go.  This chipmonk is getting itchy to hoard food for the winter but books don’t publish themselves and so I have to compile a list of agents to query and get on that elevator going up cause this vestibule I’m standing in right now is getting very dull and dusty.

I was just chatting to a friend and my brain spat out “nipple clamps” into our chat.  I’d really like to know why that was hanging out in my head.  I was not aware of it until it was enjoying itself in my chat window.  I think it was a reaction to seeing too many cupcakes and listening to too much talk about fluffy babies and the Lord God today.  My head likes to keep things in balance.  If you think about it, nipple clamps are a perfect balance to cupcakes, babies, and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Southerners and nipple clamps.

See?  That was the next evolution of that offering.  Care to speculate on how many southerners are into nipple clamps or if southerners are in any way metaphorically similar to nipple clamps?  What the hell is my brain trying to say?

School will start in a couple of weeks which I’m so happy about.  The season of ZERO structure and my kid falling apart because of it (I cannot provide structure and work at the same time).  Although Max loves being out of school because school is work and he doesn’t like to have to work, he responds very poorly to loose or no structure to his days.  Whatever works for your own kids I totally trust you to know.  My friends aren’t usually the ones who question me on this but I do know that there are parents out there who are sure that if their kids thrive on a three month break from early bedtimes, early wake-up times, well defined periods for specific activities every day, as well as times set out to eat and get exercise then all kids must thrive on a three month break from all that rigid structure.

My kid needs rigid structure.  In an ideal world I wouldn’t have to work for a living and could actually provide this structure when he’s home for the summer like I did for him from the time he was born until he was five years old (which is when we moved and then had the store and basically was the end of my stay at home days though technically I “stay at home” to work you’d be amazed how hard it is to take care of a kid who’s home while trying to examine written content and be a meticulous employee.)

Unless you do as I do.  In which case you know EXACTLY how hard it is.

Add to that a kid whose eating habits are a constant strain, who has to have a parent running interference between him and his friends and the world, all the little details that have to be just so, the difficult mood swings, and the narrow field of interests and you have a parenting situation that is uneasy for 16 hours a day.

When he’s in school (well, not for most of last year, I admit) his mind is engaged, his activities are focused, his mood swings are less focused on ME, he gets more naturally tired, he grows more, he is a lot easier to be around.  Last year was the most difficult school year he’s had.  Until he transferred to the charter school.


We are all so much better off with structure and cooler weather and BREAKS FROM EACH OTHER.

While I was away Max agreed to go rafting on Yamhill river.  This turned into THE WORST DAY OF HIS LIFE AND A PROMISE TO NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN.

For a kid who is already at high risk of becoming agoraphobic, this is serious.

To soothe all that ails me I am reading “Venetia” by Georgette Heyer.  As soon as I’m done working I plan to plop right down and read some more.  Maybe when the air has cooled off I’ll go do some forms.  I must take it slowly because of that muscle I kind of pulled on my trip.  I think it’s mostly healed now.  Soon life will return to order and a slightly more peaceful version of itself.