#11 Reason not to Drink: to build character through misery
One thing I constantly worry about is not having enough character. Sometimes, if life doesn’t throw you enough character building experiences, you have to create them yourself or remain a wishy-washy creature limping along with a tattered exoskeleton instead of a proper spine, no practical understanding of pain or misery, and probably a limp handshake. All my life I’ve been waiting for these character building experiences people are always talking about to happen to me. I know that to be a good writer you need to have a close personal relationship with misfortune and unhappiness. Yet misfortune continually passes over me for other souls. I used to cry at night about it. I used to pray that I might break a bone or lose a job or have to give up smoking so that I could be a fully realized character. Well I’m not waiting around another day – today is the day I do something to make myself unhappy and become the writer I’ve always dreamed of becoming!
Apparently Fridays are going to continue to be difficult without anything special to look forward to. And by special, I mean beer. I could try to replace it with all kinds of other treats but most treats that aren’t beer are sweet or super fatty or worse for me than beer. I think I just need to live with the doldrums of deprivation. Learn to be ALL UP IN MY FEELINGS about my depressing Friday night sobriety. Like right now. I’m definitely all up in my fucking FEELINGS right now.