Sunday Thoughts, Mostly About Racism

a hopeful volunteer

I lost another pound.  7 down.  106 to go.  That’s all I’m going to say about it today.

I want to live in a country where there is no such thing as “white privilege”.  I don’t want privilege if it isn’t shared by everyone of every color and ethnicity.  I didn’t get to pick my skin color but I have to carry the weight of this legacy of oppression and slave driving and violence even if I did not personally take part in any of it.  I read about the experiences that Americans who aren’t white are having and it makes me want to rip my own skin off.  I hear the hideous racist things that white people say and the shame I feel for my race is scalding hot.

That’s not me feeling sorry for my poor white ass.  That’s me screaming for all this racist shit to STOP.  Because it is not okay.  I have ended friendships because of friends being racist.  I argued with my racist grandfather and told him to shut the hell up.  I disowned my biological father because of his bigotry that is both religious and racial.  I will not be complicit with racism when it’s in front of me.  The only other thing I can do is to listen to everyone who is experiencing racism in this country, in this world, and keep connecting on common ground.

And not take righteous anger personally.  That is the hardest thing.  When white people are castigated as an entire race as though every last white person is filled with hate for people of color.  I have to remember that when you’re feeling raw with pain and injustice and you are shouting to be heard where people are trying to silence you – it isn’t important that you speak carefully – it’s just important that you speak until you are heard.

I know my own heart.  I love people of all colors, of every stripe, of all beliefs, and of all backgrounds – it’s what makes this world (and especially this country) the incredible vibrant place it is.  I judge individuals as I meet them.  Good and evil come in all skins.  Most of us are neither good nor evil but are complicated combinations of experiences, motives, and reactions.

I know my own heart and I have to trust that when people get to know me they will know my heart too.  If they don’t, then they aren’t listening to me.

Check out this incredible poem on: Extraordinary Machine

Our drought continues to go strong.  We might get rain this coming week.  We might not.  I’m turning into one of those hideous dried apple dolls that looks like mummified people dressed in quaint Kuntry Garb.  I NEED RAIN AS MUCH AS THE LANDSCAPE DOES.

I’d like to get some fiction writing done today but I need to work on Max’s application to the ArtQuest program and he’s having a couple of friends over and I will be hanging with my friend Chelsea.  I suppose tomorrow will be good enough.  I also have to track down some decaf PG Tips because I have only one bag left.

I’m off now.  I hope you are all having a great Sunday!

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