In Which I Fear Nurses With Needles

sunny december

I’m a little panicky today because time to the new year is running out.  It’s going by too fast!  Am I using it well?  Am I wasting it?  I’ll probably die tomorrow anyway so who cares, right?  GAH!  Stop spinning, brain!  Yo!

What’s my problem, anyway?  Yesterday was a great writing day.  I didn’t actually do any writing but I mapped out 8 chapters of book 2 and will finish mapping the plot out chapter by chapter before I do any more writing.  Free-writing wasn’t working for me.  I can’t meander with my novel writing.  It doesn’t work for me to just see where the writing takes me.  I have to know where I’m taking it.  I’M THE DRIVER.  I also built a new character that is important to the whole story arc.  This has made a lot of other things clearer too.  So it was a very productive day working on the book.  I planned to work on it more today but instead I have to deal with my damn scooter again which is at my friend’s house – not working.  There are also errands to do and a visit to a pub with our friend Dennis.  So I think this won’t be a writing day at all.

I need to get my transportation issues sorted out.  My bicycle tire keeps going flat (probably  because I’m so damn fat) and the scooter is just – FALLING APART APPARENTLY.  I can’t afford to keep having work done on the scooter.  The back tire needs replacing, the carburetor most likely needs replacing, it’s possible there are a million other things about to collapse and need replacing.  So it’s looking like the best thing is to get the bicycle tire fixed and do all my errands on it.  Which will likely kill me before it gets me in shape.  My mom depends on me to run errands for her so I have got to have a set of wheels.  A car for me is just as out of reach as completely fixing the scooter is.

Vehicles suck.

I’m supposed to have my blood drawn to test my liver function.  I haven’t done it because I am too scared.  Firstly, I’m scared that it will take 30 tries to get enough blood out of me to test in the first place (last time I had blood drawn the nurses accused me of having “rolling” veins, as though I was thwarting them on purpose and it took three of them to poke at me before they were successful which very nearly made me pass out) and secondly, I’m just afraid of getting bad news like I’ve already got cirrhosis of the liver and it’s too late and I have to go on a transplant list.

I never do anything by halves.  So obviously my fears are well founded.

I think that January should be a really witchy month for me.  I should make that salve (the one I’ve been meaning to make for months).  I should make some shampoo (I have soapwort for crying out loud!).  I should work on my lotion project again.  I should drink dandelion root tea for my liver and to prove what a tough-ass I am (that shit is BITTER).

I should also work on cooking new things and getting new recipes up on Stitch.  I haven’t done that in a long time.

And WRITEWRITEWRITE.

And not drink.  I have emailed my psychiatrist to request a different substance abuse counselor.  I hope she gets my email before my birthday.  If I don’t get a new counselor by then I may have to take my friend Sid up on going sober with me.  Can you believe how awesome it is of her to offer such a thing?  I seriously have the best group of friends (online and off) a woman could hope for!

You what’s a bummer?  The lack of rain here.  It has been so dry here for so long.  I think we had two rainy days in November.  The weather forecast continues to show mostly sunsunsun with a little bit of cloud here or there for five minutes followed by sunsunsunsun.  This is NOT good for Northern California.  We desperately need the rain.  Plus, I miss the rain.

Alright – it’s time for me to skedaddle.  I hope you are all having a fabulous Sunday and are enjoying your last days of 2013.  We all get to kick it in the pants very soon.

5 comments

  1. nadine says:

    Love it!!! Good friend to sober with you, indeed!! One of my friends was recently placed in azure acres for a month and her husband (not placed in azure) went sober right along with her 🙂

  2. NM says:

    I love dandelion root tea! But it really needs creamer to be at its best; it needs to be mellowed out and buffered. If I weren’t lactose intolerant, I’d use real cream, or half and half. Have been meaning to make my own, but haven’t yet gotten to it; I was buying (expensive!) tea bags instead. Would love to see a post on how you did it.
    Sorry to hear about the scooter and the general worries. Sending rainy thoughts your way.

    • angelina says:

      I never considered adding cream to it. Maybe I will try this. The dandelion root gathering and drying was pretty basic. I pulled up a bunch of dandelions in the late spring and I scrubbed the dirt off of them and then chopped them into little pieces and dehydrated them. I want to try roasting them with chicory root for fun. I actually bought some chicory and dandelion roast from the local natural foods store. I need to try that and see what I think. Then if it’s good – do some experiments.

  3. angelina says:

    Nadine – I think the hardest thing is to go sober when everyone else is not. Philip is going sober with me too. And thanks about the picture! I haven’t take any selfies in ages because I hate looking at them but I made myself be brave and do it since I’m going for a fresh start. It’s always good to have a starting point image to remember it by.

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