Today I’m blue.

Life is good.  I’m losing weight.  I’m building garden beds.  My son has grown almost an inch in the last couple of weeks and was accepted into a great arts program at the high school he’s headed to in the fall.  Philip is still happy where he works and they still seem happy with him.  We get to live in this awesome house and we’re paying our bills.  So why blue?

I’m blue because I’ve been working so hard at my writing for so many years and applied for so many positions and made proposals and networked and even finished and published a novel.  Yet my writing “career” continues to become nothing.

That’s right – I’m feeling sorry for myself because I continue to not be picked for anyone’s writing team.  You know what people don’t like?  (Aside from my books and proposals)  They don’t like people who feel sorry for themselves.  So I’m not going to say all the ugly things I’m feeling.  I’m not going to tell you what new things have failed to happen and all the indications and proofs that I should give up.  I’m going to fill up the following space with Nothing:

094387503Q5874502979840256874629786980988676454w24558979876&^*%$^%$@$%#@&^**&^*^%$%$#@$#@%^&**)(*^%$#@#$%^&(*)*&^%$#@$%&^*()*&^%$#@$%&^*()*&^%$#$%^&(**&^%$#@$%^&*()*&^%$#@$%^&*()(*&^%$#@$%IUGFDSFHNBVGFDEROIUPURE*UIOUR$E#W$ER%^T(**&^%$#$%&^*(*&^%$ERIUUREWYTIOFDSDYGUI*&^%$E%^&*()*&^%$#$%&^*()*&^%$#WQESFDGHLKJJNHBVGFDSERUIOUE$%^&*(I*U$%#*&(&^TR%$%&(I*U$%ERG!!

Now I’m going to get up off the dirty floor, dust myself off, dry my ridiculous tears, and get ready for a new round of nothing.