I Hate Guinevere

This cow thinks Guinevere is a stupid ho.

I would totally love the Arthurian legends:

1.  If Guinevere wasn’t such a bitchy adulterous precious “lady”.

2.  If it weren’t for all the rape and pillaging.

3.  If Lancelot wasn’t a wife-stealing manly-man show off.

4.  If it weren’t for the sibling incest.

5.  If it weren’t for the whole early Christian crusading flavor.

I used to be a great fan of the Arthurian legends.  I even read “Le Mort D’Arthur” and loved the movie version “Excalibur”.  I’ve read (and loved) Anne McCaffrey’s book “The Mists of Avalon”, Mary Stewart’s Crystal Cave trilogy, and “The Once and Future King” by T.H. White.  But I’m tired of it.  I’m tired of all the rehashing it gets in TV and film.  I especially find it tedious that so much is made, over and over, of the whole horrid love triangle between Arthur, Lancelot, and the always awful Guinevere.  I have always despised Guinevere.  Every version trotted out irritates me even more than the last one.  I’m eternally grateful to myself for never seeing the one with Kiera Knightly.

I’m completely done with this story.  I refuse to be lured into yet another retelling.

It’s time to unearth a new unsubstantiated legend to fawn over.



  1. Karmyn R says:

    I hate to correct you – but Anne McCaffrey didn’t write The Mists of Avalon – it was Marion Zimmer Bradley. Anne McCaffrey is the author of the all the DragonRiders of Pern series. See – I’m a Fantasy reader nerd like that.

  2. angelina says:

    Dammit. I get them confused all the time. I have read all the Dragons of Pern books as well and loved them. So I love both those authors. Why do I constantly attribute their work to each other? A mystery that may never be solved.

  3. Aerlyn says:

    Dammit. I hate Guinevere too. She just….rubs me the wrong way. I hate the idea of her–marrying one guy and having sex with another. She doesn’t seem all that bothered by her cheating despite being a “virtuous, kind lady”. Uuuuugh…if I had it my way, she would’ve gone and died in a hole. I’m not all that fond of Lancelot either–hell, I felt incredibly sorry for Elaine. She deserves better than that.

    I love the Arthurian Legends, I really do. But Guinevere…. I despise her, I despise the concept of her, I despise the mere idea of her “oh-so-tragic” love triangle between her, Lancelot and King Arthur. I’m so glad Arthur didn’t sire any kids with her. I’m so glad Galahad wasn’t hers.

    Yep. I probably hate that ho even more than you do. XD Sorry about all my ranting..

  4. angelina says:

    Don’t apologize for a thoroughly enjoyable rant! We are in a minority (most people, I think, love her and also love the whole love triangle) and I’m pretty sure I hate Guinevere as much as you do! I may have been holding back a little. I love the Arthurian legends as well – I think it’s possible to love the general stories and some of the other characters in specific and still loathe Guinevere and, yes, I don’t like Lancelot either. You just don’t sleep with your best friend’s wife. I’m so glad you shared your rant – because it has made my morning to hear it!

  5. Angela says:

    I can’t stand Guinevere either…For me though my hatred for her is more personal, because at the time when I was studying the Arthurian legend in college I found out my dad was cheating on my mom with her best friend! Talk about total déjà vu! Now every time I think about Guinevere it also gives me unpleasant memories about the messy divorce, loud fightings at home,trying to be the peace maker between my parents, and once I met my dad’s slutty mistress AKA my mom’s ex-best friend and had to fight the strongest urge to jump her when she’s alone in a parking lot….yeah Guinevere is the embodiment of that unpleasant memory of mine and I wish she had a horrible death, just so to validate my scarred heart….

  6. angelina says:

    Wow – that was some crazy timing to suddenly be experiencing first hand the same relationship mess you were studying. So sorry you went through that! Trying to be the peace maker between divorcing parents is the WORST. I know from personal experience too. I wonder if anyone will ever do a production of the Arthurian legends in which Guinevere and Lancelot are portrayed as negative characters rather than romantic heroes?

  7. Jonah says:

    Personally I prefer Guinevak, Guinevere’s sister in the earlier Welsh/Celtic versions of the myths, who was Arthur’s wife prior to Guinevere, who loved Arthur and though she became something of a semi-villain later, she had a lot more balls and seems a better spouse for Arthur (who I like due to having seen the Sam Neil movie ‘Merlin’ and read a poem of Sir Cay as a kid, both of which left me with a positive impression of Arthur as he struck me as an okay and cool character).
    But back to topic, looking at Arthur’s ladies, wives and lovers before he married and remained faithful to an adulterous wife (go figure, he’s faithful/not getting any while the lady is being a cheap slut, usually its the other way around). Kinda’ve makes you think he should have divorced her or done something like getting a mistress instead of rolling over like a doormat for her and Lancelot (who I hate cause my stepfather had that over-macho attitude and boastfulness that the wannabe Lancelot has in the myths).
    If you want another side to the Arthurian myths, I think Cay, Merlin, Arthur (Welsh/Celtic version), Gawain and Guinevak are interesting characters with much more depth than two sex-maniacs, and are fascinating and cool with some interesting tales about them…

  8. angelina says:

    A long long time ago I read a lot of different versions of the Arthurian legends but I never read the Welsh/Celtic version. Thanks for mentioning that! I always liked Arthur – there haven’t been any versions of him that I truly didn’t like but I would have liked him a lot more if he’d just divorced Guinevere. I did totally respect that he remained faithful to his cheating wife because that was in keeping with his character as most people have portrayed it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!

  9. Jonah says:

    Hope you don’t mind my saying (especially so long lol), I personally would love to write or at least put out a modern version of the tales, but there are like you two figures who sicken it for me and make me unable to write them; Lancelot & Guinevere.
    What really gets to me after re-reading some stories and watching some movies of Arthur, I gotta say that I always enjoy it up until the terrible duo, and what gets me is how these two always survive/outlive Arthur and usually proceed to take over the Kingdom. It really seems to me like Lancelot and Guin were in league with Mordred who I can at least tolerate because he is an interesting villain.
    If you don’t mind my asking Angelina, who in the myth is your favourite figure, for me it is either Merlin or Sir Cay, you?

  10. penny2199 says:

    I hate her as well. I hate the “tragic love triangle”
    There is no tragedy at all.
    Gwen had to be such a slutty bitch and go cheat with one of King Arthurs own knights.
    And if Sir Lancelot really admired, and was loyal to King Arthur, he wouldn’t be a dumb fuck and fucked his wife

  11. Beth says:

    I found this today because I thought to myself someone must hate the Lancelot/Guinevere story as much as I do. I loathe them. No sympathy whatsoever for their ” tragic love.” They were unfaithful jerks is what they were. Arthur was never anything but great to both of them and THAT’S how they repay him?
    But then I have no sympathy for adulterers in general.
    I actually watched the Disney version and when Arthur got turned back into a boy after being a squirrel and breaks the girl squirrel’s heart, I said he should’ve ended up with the squirrel. Much better than Guinevere. Merlin could’ve turned her human, right? 🙂 She wouldn’t have cheated on him.

  12. Arthur-Merlin-Studier says:

    You realize that the story of Guinevere and Lancelot’s Adultery never existed in the earliest versions / legends. It was a later embellishment at the request of Marie de Champaigne, but believed that married people could never love each other, and true love could only be found scandalously (more or less). This story of Guinevere mirrored her life. She tried to make Guinevere and Lancelot the heroes. The original author Troyes de Chretain even quit writing it because it was so awful. Sadly, that messed up story has become the tradition.

  13. angelina says:

    Since I don’t study the history of this story academically I don’t know all the ins and outs and changes over time. Very interesting. If this is true then I think Marie de Champaigne ruined a good story with that subplot.

  14. Katie says:

    I love Guinevere on BBC’s Merlin. A very fun adaptation of Arthurian legend despite the many liberties it’s taken.
    Keeping in mind that in that time period, marriages were still arranged or done for political/financial security and women were often denied a choice in who they married, I can’t really blame Guinevere for having an affair with Lancelot. It’s not like divorce was a viable option either.

  15. Becca says:

    I love Arthurian legend, but I HATE Guinevere! The only Guinevere that I haven’t found completely detestable was BBC Merlin’s Guin. After the most recent rehash of the story that I’ve read I have been reading reviews of the story, and I am so glad to find people hate her as much as I do.

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