Heavy Objects Fall Like Feathers

I am the heavy object and I have been falling like a feather for almost five decades now, quietly, and not much seen. I think the ground is getting close. I think the ground looks very hard. I think this is why I’m so afraid of heights.

Would someone please put out a trampoline down there?

Or a really huge thick feather mattress?

Because it doesn’t look like I’m going to sprout wings of any kind.