Brand New Day


One of my favorite things about Sonoma County – the yellow fields of mustard!

Yesterday the owner of the company I worked for laid everyone off. Kind of funny how life works, isn’t it? No one saw that coming. I have such warring feelings. I desperately need time to set up my own business and take care of my house and cook real food again and to write…but we also need money and jobs are scarce on the ground for me. I felt both uplifted and then stiff and sick with anxiety. Just last Thursday I quit this same job and unquit within an hour. I wonder if I would have been just as sick to my stomach on my first day not working if I really had quit? Quitting felt empowering while being laid off feels dire.

I’ve never been laid off before.

In spite of having to spend a few hours on the couch trying to settle my stomach I took my first day of unemployment by the balls and headed over to the local IRS office to find out how to disentangle myself from my accidental new identity as Lamare.

I accidentally gave the wrong social security number (by one digit) on my W-4 form and because my employer failed to get a copy of my ID and SSN card, they didn’t catch my error. So I recently discovered that the IRS wants to take some of my earnings towards unpaid child support because apparently I’m a deadbeat douche-dad.

Today I’m trying to get my apothecary website up and running. You can get to it through this link to see how it looks so far:

Winters Apothecary

For some reason it’s still not findable on Google using the url. So I’ve got to figure that out. I’ve got most of my products listed except for the sachet blends. There are so many products I want to work on, I’ve got what I think are some super fun ideas, but if no one can buy the stuff I already have then I’m shooting myself in the foot. So I have to get things set up properly.

I’m excited to be home on a Tuesday morning. The nausea has worn off. Other things I need to do are clean my office and possibly set it up a little differently so it’s more functional. I’m not sure it’s set up as well as it could be. I’m talking about flow.

I also need to clean my living room and my kitchen and my bathroom and bedroom and dining room. Finish the spring cleaning I started almost two months ago. There’s so much more to be done.

It’s a brand new day. Anything is possible when you aren’t dead yet.

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