Reason #2 for not drinking for 90 days: Wedding Ring

Somewhere around when I hit 200lbs my fingers got too fat to wear my wedding ring.  Nightmares of having to cut the thing off made me set it aside for thinner days.  For reasons I can no longer remember and probably weren’t major anyway, I didn’t have it resized.  Well, 200lbs is far behind me at this point and I’m tired of not wearing my band.  I can’t afford to buy a new one at this point and, really, I just want to go back to being a regular sized person so I can wear the ring I already own.  Not drinking alcohol for a while will help me get started towards that goal.

*****

Day two of being sick.  Definitely don’t have the flu.  This is just an annoying cold.  Tonight while I was trying to figure out what to make for dinner I realized that I would not be drinking beer and the realization made me think “There’s nothing to look forward to anymore” and then “Not drinking beer for 3 months makes my life feel empty.”  If you were to point out all the amazing things my life is still filled with I would be very annoyed and probably get snappy with you.  And I would be a bitch and not apologize.  I’d come up with a bunch of dreadful dark things to say in retaliation to all your cheery light and you would feel my dark cold shadow slowly creep across your skin sucking all the joy from you-

Anyway, it’s only 7:15pm and I am not sure what to do with myself.  As soon as I’m not sick I will cut out a quilt for a little girl and I can work on that while watching tv.  I do like hand stitching.  I find it as meditative as knitters find knitting.  How perverse of me that if you were to make that suggestion to me I would definitely growl at you and that’s when you’d finally see the sign posted next to my head “Don’t feed the animal suggestions” but it would be too late.  Then you’d finally give up on me, wash your hands of my pessimistic stink, and join the happy people who play games and like balloons and the smell of candy and the sound of Christmas bells and who still willfully believe in fairies.  I’d slink away to find the nearest empty cave and finally start my life’s true calling: being a beardy hermit.

That’s all for now my fellow commiserators!